I went to Europe and All I Got Was This Double Chin

Milan: Monet, Samurai exhibit, rejection of the 3-meal system in favor of one in which I at no time have free space in my stomach, best pizza of my life, even the graffitti impresses me to the point where I thought the subways's graffitti might have been commissioned. I'm still not entirely convinced it wasn't.

Venice: My brothers and I used to call our bath-tub "Venice." It has always seemed to me an unreal, magical place. Going there didn't change that.

"Venice defies description. Many have tried, from Goethe to Brodsky, but it has to be seen; felt, and wandered through to be believed, and even then you may have trouble thinkging it real. Yet no theme-park creater could ever have come up with this result of 1400 years of extraordinairy history." (Lonely Planet)

Still, there's a whimsical-seeming system at work, like the next city or planet over is the Jetsons-themed one. On the other hand, its age and history is so evident that it's more like it's the rest of the world that's putting on a show. However you want to think of Venice, it's incredible. On 117 islands, with 150 canals, and 410 bridges. You must commute by boat. You must! Just as you must face the beauty and you must feel the sunlit watery winds through your shampooed hairs. I'd recommend going as a couple, if you have the choice. We saw a few Goths and M remarked it must be hard to find something to be angry about in this magical city where people come from all over the world to be in love. I say I'd probably feel dark myself if I were 16, single, and pimply and I couldn't walk two steps out my front door without running into tonsil-hockey in the streets. The whole romance thing gets exploited too; we had countless photos taken of us during our gondola ride. I wanted to throw my email address at the photogaphers and at least get something out of it. So if you come across any on a random web-album, send 'em to me!

Piazza San Marco: besides its stunning magnificence (sometimes I find it difficult to take in the full picture of things like this. Or, like grocery stores, where I might spend 10 min staring between 2 cereal boxes instead of facing the bountiful rest), has a lot of pigeons. Something I didn't get to do was throw breadcrumbs at a snobby-looking lady and enjoy the aftermath. So if any of you go, that's a cheap activity to consider. Personally, I could not part with any crumbs.

Basilica di San Marco: U-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E. You can't even look at the floors of advanced geometric marble splendor because it's so hard to tear your eyes from the golden, colorful, meticulous, dazzzling mosaics all around and above, dating back from the 1060's. Neither of us could refrain from saying things like, "My villagers can't even dig a well!" But it was also somehow nice to think of them and their thatched rooves among mango trees, and to remember that that exists as well as this glittering palace, as well as all the things in between. It's nice to witness the spectrum and remember to be amazed at the variety of the people and places of the planet. (I've had a lot of cheese on this vacation; I guess it's coming out here).

...Guggenheim museum, churches, shops, markets, music, and every other building is a landmark... And getting lost on purpose was the best part:

"A city for meanderers, Venice rewards every minute devoted to penetrating its cat's cradle of intertwined lanes." (L. P.)


Rome: We started out a bit rough with a hotel scam (OK, this 19 year old will now drive you to your room. OK, you can get out here, it's that unmarked door covered in graffiti...) But Rome bounced back as it will enchant anyone who's ever enjoyed two words of history.

Colloseum, Palatine, Forums: awesome, gorgeous, go. We were overwhelmed by all the english-speaking tourists so we played a game in which they overheard us describing false attractions. "So the trapeze show starts at 1:00, right..." "I can't beleive they dressed up that monkey like that. It's kind of cruel. But Very impressive how well he's learned to handle that sword!"

Vatican: even more english speakers, mostly wanting us to pay for their tours. So we spent the first 2-3 hours speaking only Pulaar. We pondered how often-- if ever-- this happened at the Vatican. Sistene chapel: Jeez! I was intimidated by my senior thesis in art! Un-freaking-believable. Not overrated. No wonder Michelangelo is my favorite ninja turtle. Don't ignore the paintings everyone quickly walks by on the way to the chapel either, or you'll miss some Dali's, chagal's; and other gems. the other stuff didn't move me too much.

Gladiator School: how amazing that this exists. I really really wanted to meet the passionate gladiator students and teachers, but unfortunately, once we finally found the place, it was empty. And creepy. Voices that didn't answer, wind opening doors, a dog the size of a bear... "Let's split up!" I suggested. You know how I like my horror flicks.

Indian restaurant: this gave me an odd language overload. I was trying to remember my few words of Hindi while hearing Italian, speaking english to M, and still most inclined to speak to other people in French, Pulaar, or even wolof. M got fuzzy feelings of global friendship especially when japanese tourists came in. We decided everyone should eat everyone else's food to stop war. I mean, who wouls ever want to bomb India after eating a delicious samosa (the question mark on this keyboard doesn't work) Bring on the middle-eastern cuisine. (But forgive my village for having awful food).

Bookstore: Rome had the biggest one I saw, with 4 aisles of english books. Bliss! I literally took my pulse and asked M if he thought I had a fever. It was thrilling. I've since treated myself a few times and can now do so at a regular breathing rate.

French Fries: You know how when you go on vacation, for example, to Europe, you have to bypass things like hamburgers that you can get at home (question mark) That's why a Peace Corps vacation is dangerous. There falls nothing in this bypass-category except corn mush. I have yet to see corn-mush on a menu. Therefore, I am rendered unable to bypass anything. I went to Italy and all I got was this double chin. And I love it!

Catacombs, ruins, pasta, paninis, churches, Trevi...

Madrid: hyssen, Placa Mayor, Reina Sophia, oldest restaurant in the world (certified by Guiness Records), Sol, Movies with big buckets of popcorn, La Latina, tapas...
To my high school sweethearts: Tessa is doing fabulously in her glamorous Spanish life. She speaks in a rapid perfect spanish that I sometimes couldn't believe was coming out of her mouth, even if I was staring at her. She knows the coolest restaurants (one is a japanese buffet with a CONVEYER BELT. It went in both directions so we gave up pretending to pay any attention to each other and just said things like, "Spring rolls coming up.. three left.. two.. shoot! Reach over NO, get it before these people, go, go!" This place would never be able to stay in business if I lived in Madrid. Lucky for them, Madrid likes size zeros more than complete ultimate fulfillment. There was a particularly hilarious incident here involving essa's arm in sauce over the belt and me crying from laughing so hard.. but I think you had to be there...) Back to Tess: She teaches english to adults and some adorable kids. I spoke to the latter about monekys and snakes and living here. I may have accidentally called them selfish too, "Yes, we have a school, but no tile floors like this, or decorations, or lights, or books, or... any of this... Anyway, the monkeys..." Tessa has a lovely apartment with a cushy couch, and many other wonderful things I fully enjoyed (fridge, microwave, washing machine, TV...) She dresses fashionably and is basically married to Felipe (I still love that name), who is the male version of Tessa. They make lists of travel destinations like other people make grocery lists. But don't go thinking she takes it for granted. She was very sensative to the things overwhelming me and sometimes quoted bits of THIS BLOG to me. I was touched to know she thought of my experience while living it up in hers.

It was very hard to leave. Tessa clearly needs me as a roommate. Thus, I am tragically torn between the debts of friendship and the debts to society. Now I'm in Kédougou sweating on my own sweat with a throbbing earache. Clearly, I made the wrong choice. Tessa! Bacon! Cheese! Come back to me!