Fille Like a Woman

Ladies Last..

In June we finished interviewing girls for the Michele Sylvester Scholarship. (This is the thing “my article” plugged. Here’s the plug again: http://www.senegad.org/).

It was fun going around to paint AIDS murals and meet the top girls in the region’s middle schools. Also—depressing.

The girls were meek creatures. A lot of them get their top marks by silent obedience and straight memorization. I was hoping to find a little more spunk… I realized these were their first interviews ever and tried to be as unintimidating as possible. Most eventually laughed and relaxed, but it still wasn't exactly a party. They tried so hard to give the "right" answers. We don't do "individual" or "creative" here in Senegal. The first question, "What do you do (for fun) in your spare time?" was met with answers like, "Nothing," "I don't have spare time," "study," and "read my dictionary." Each went along with a terror-struck face that said, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY HERE?"

Another sad group of answers responded to, "What do you want to do (as a career)?" A lot of blank stares here. What do you mean want to do? I have a choice? A few people said nurse or teacher as these are the only careers they've even heard of women entering. (Someone want to send over an African zoologist barbie doll?)

Many girls simply said, "wife/ mother." At first I felt like I should let this go and stick to a no-answer-is-wrong policy. But then I realized the whole purpose of my being there was to encourage other options. So I found myself giving broken but impassioned speeches. WHO ELSE WILL? I said we were there because girls' education is important; girls have a lot of skills that aren't being put to use here. Senegal's development is a slower battle than it has to be because of this. If girls were educated and employed and valued as much as men, we'd have double the workforce and double the power and creative energy to find and pursue solutions. They could bring money into their families, and in my opinion be even better mothers and wives because of this and their own senses of worth. I don't need to tell these girls about fullfillment. Duh. I lamented with them a bit about it not really being their choice and that I understood this might not make a difference for them. But I encouraged them not to give up completely-- to keep talking about it and fight for the education of their sisters and daughters. And maybe someday we won't need scholarships to keep top girls in school or to gets fathers to turn their heads and wonder WHY people are awarding girls. I felt myself balloon and deflate in these speeches, telling myself I had to at least try, even if I just got blank stares back.

To my surprise, it seems a lot of girls did take note. In the essays they wrote after the interviews (and lectures as the case may be..), many of them completely changed their answers and went off on semi-feminist rants. Woo! I don't know how far the fire will get them in this god-forsaken patriarchy, but hopefully somewhere better.

Sorry to sound so jaded (I freely admit I am). I will share some good parts of the interviews too. First, one girl said her favorite subject was math because it explains everything. You can solve most any problem using math, like electricity and building things. This might not sound impressive to you all, but coming from Senegal, it blew me away. Second, one girl married at 12 and was pulled out of school. She hated her old mean husband and wanted to go back to school. So... she divorced him and did! How is this possible? Her dad died. Unfortunately this is often the best thing that can happen to a daughter down here. If a girl has successfully gotten a divorce, chanced are her dad died and she gets the full support of her mother.

Another depressing anecdote: I gave a neem lotion (neem leaves repel mosquitos) lesson to my women's garden group so they can sell the neem lotion to raise money for vegetable seeds. At this causerie, I met two new girls from the farthest quartiere who I really liked. They were young, energetic girls who kept cracking jokes and telling me I'm pretty (obviously those are separate things.) Anyway, my excellent counterpart, Daby, gave them a free bag of lotion to take to their quartiere to show off as a kind of advertisement. They left and came back about 5 minutes later, still giggling, and somewhat sheepish.

"What are you doing back here?" we asked. I thought for sure I didn't understand their answers, thrown off by their smiles. But sure enough, they realized on the way back that if they told people my male counterpart bought them the lotion, their husbands would beat them for it. We sent them back with the lotion as a gift from all the women instead. But... ouch. It's so frustrating how normal things like this are and how no one is ever held accountable.

Recall also my ear meeting with the doctor's tongue (he was aiming to french me, apparently very sloppily, but I turned away). It's fine for me, but what about all the women in those villages? Are they really going to take the long road to the doctor when they or their kids are sick with the doctor is a creepy ball of sketch?

OK I'll stop with these stories. It is getting better... I think. Female circumcision has been confirmed to be on the outs in my area. There are still a few people who sneak it, but the social pressure is against it now.

Also, I've decided to make a kick-ass woman book. I will enlist people to find women who have defied the odds and triumphed over Senegal. We will take their pictures and interview them. I envision a cook compilation of glamour shots and celebrity-interview style gems of wisdom and advice. Maybe a coloring book for little girls? We will magically get funding to print a load and distribute them to all these schools that aren't telling girls they can be something. They'll be able to learn about real women from similar situations and the careers they got. Proof of possibility.

And we'll all live happily ever after...?