Dirty Pictures (not really. don't get excited)

from journal:

1/13, Sold soul to devil.

When I first started working on the mosquito net distributions here, I felt like we were killing our bodies, all getting dengue, skipping meals, and biking hundreds of nets over the toughest terrain... to give nets. I remember thinking that if anyone in America had any inkling of what we were doing, we'd have no trouble raising money for nets and transportation in 30 seconds flat.

Today looked very different. We had a camera crew, a twitter team, and phrases like "starbucks sponsership" floating around. Good, right?

I just went to give nets. It can be hard all-day work to do thoroughly, but we know how to do it, and do it pretty well. Enter internationally renowned camerawoman, who I'm hoping is too busy being successful to ever see this... She is INSANE! Within two minutes in her presence (LITERALLY less that 120 seconds, honestly), everyone starts to back away with wide terrified eyes.

We had to get up at 4 so we could get to the village in good camera light. Since they brought starbucks, I let that go, although I must say, no one should have to get up before the morning call to prayer. As soon as we got there, she started right in with her insanity, wiping off bewildered kids' faces with wipes (one ran off crying). Since she couldn't speak any language and was used to having a team of assistants and translators, she just didn't worry about explaining anything. She did anything to make them smile as quickly as possible.

"Tell that man he needs to move; his shadow's getting in the shot!"

"Um, hello, sir," I said. "We're all very happy to be here and thank you for coming to greet us. Thank you for helping the cause to photograph advertisements so we can raise the money to bring more nets to Senegal. We're all happy to meet you today. Also, could you just step a little over here?"

She was tapping her foot and glaring at me impatiently. Then gave me a great fake smile.

The whole thing felt so WRONG. The opposite of Peace Corps. We barely knew any names, didn't make connections, didn't joke or share our stories. We just zoomed in and stole shots of them that only made it look like a sweet and fair exchange. "Dance! I want them to dance!" Oh. My. God.

I must say, she didn't actually steal shots; she made sure her temporary assistant got everyone's official consent on paper (after the shots were taken). And the kids did seem to be having fun even if they had no idea what was going on. We did our best to convey politeness in every interaction. And it IS a good cause... OUR cause...

Maybe she sensed our discomfort, or maybe she's just used to trying to make up for her abrasive working style. Either way, she bought us dinner! I sat next to her at the end of the table because I'm very brave. She asked almost immediately if I wanted to use the shower in her room. Well... YES, actually-- I'd been hoping to do so ever since I learned where they were staying. [This was in cold season, and as we finished working well after dark, our heatless outdoor shower got kind of painful. Heating up water for a bucket bath was equally as painful... It is no longer cold season or cold at any time.] ..But I wanted to EAT first! During dinner, though, she said it three more times! "Don't you want to shower now? I think you should..." pushing her room key towards me. "Um, yeah, thanks! I think I'd prefer to wait until after dinner, if that's OK. I mean, unless I smell too bad! Haha!... I don't, do I?"

"Umm... no...." I asked this a few times, once with, "Do I have any dirt on me or something?" And she responded with, "Yeah, actually, right here"-- my neck.

This had been a weird rapport with her all along. She would look at me and laugh in an aww-you-poor-thing way and once even said, "Haha! I like what you're doing with the dirt all over your face! That's great!" "Um, what? Do I really h-" "No, no, I'm just teasin'! Haha!" And she walked away.

I'd been assuming I'm only as dirty as everyone else. I wash my clothes, bathe daily, brush my hair, keep the dust-wrestling to a minimum. But now I'm doubting that assumption. Was she making a weird but effective joke or am I really that dirty?

HOW DIRTY AM I?