Body Parts

5/16 The best part of my day might have been my twilight bucket bath. If I'd had more water, I might have spent great portions of the day just standing outside, naked, alone, pouring water over myself.

Otherwise, the day was somewhat overwhelming. After I chased kids out, I washed clothes with my namesake neene (Hadiatou Sourée, that's us). She repeatedly told me I didn't know what I was doing. But really, it was alright until we hung stuff up on the only sad little rope I had. First it sagged and sheets edges got dirty. We rewashed. Then they fell. Many times. There's nothing like sweating over a bucket of the last water you have-- which looks remarkably like oreo milkshake it's so dirty-- trying to get the stains out of your limited clothes that are suposed to last for 2 years-- to make someone homesick for the good old US. I didn't have the language skills to attempt, but I imagined talking about MACHINES that wash and dry clothes- would sound like something from the Jetsons. (By the way, I ended up keeping the clothes up by using the paper clips I think my mom made me pack as clothespins. Thanks mom!)

The whole reason I washed today was because the kids got my sheets dirty. And by "dirty" I do mean you could plant stuff. I also thought they peed on the sheets, but the women assured me it was just a lot of drool. No matter, the baby peed on my floor a few minutes later anyway. Her mother laughed, poored my precious water on top, and came back with the stick broom the other kids had stolen after it dried. At this point I was pretty much holding myself and rocking.

We had affirmation papers for our health group on which everyone wrote something nice for the person to read in his or her moment of need. I pictured opening mine in a few months, in a quiet moment of tears and solitude, most likely while it was raining. Instead I opened it today, as chicken poo and human urine was spread across the floor, ten sweaty voices asked me incomprehensible things at once, and every single one of my belongings was picked up and asked for. I read the comics. I snuck off to scarf lovely carepackage food. I was still ready to call it a day.

Then my counterpart, Mariama, pulled out her boob. It is 4 times the size of the other. I've only seen pictures of cancer this bad. My encienne forwarned me, but I still had to wait for her to tell me herself and didn't think it would be so soon. I'm glad it was (is it bad to make a joke here about her getting it off her chest?).

She doesn't really get the whole tumor concept, so I whipped out Where There Is No Doctor to see if it would help. Then some other women came in and we went through the whole thing, stopping to talk about STDs every once in a while. The kids looked on throughout all the penis-type pictures of syphallis and herpes. But once we got to the birthing pages, the women giggled and hid the book. I said, "Why? It's beautiful!" They laughed and vehemently disagreed. Then I said it was beautiful for other people but not for me. They laughed more but then talked for a while about hoe weird it was I didn't have a husband or kids and didn't want either right now. They kept repeating my age and stating disbelief. They even offered to share their husbands (they all already do). I said that just because everyone seems to get married by 18 doesn't mean I have to. It's almost like how I don't have my ears pierced... They answered that I really should get my ears pierced.

For some reason, this near-feminism breaching STD talk really cheered me up in a way carepackage food and bucket bathing couldn't. Who knew doing my actual JOB could do such a thing?

Oh, also I semi-mooned Mariama and her sister when I was flipping the little ones around and they pulled at my skirt tie. If I understood correctly, Mariama told me I should really wear underwear. I said that was why I did laundry!

There is an adolescent boy standing over me as I write by candlelight right now, under my clean-ish bedsheet. I'm afraid to yell, "GO!" again like I just did with a gaggle of girls whose feelings I may have hurt. People are so weird. I'm going to bed just so people will stop visiting.